Riding the Spectrum of Leadership

We like to think leadership means showing up the same way every day. But leadership is human work and humans aren’t machines. We can be on a spectrum from our best self to our worst self.

Some days we have the energy, clarity, empathy, and patience to handle the hard stuff with grace. Other days, we’re flat. Reactive. Drained. Or even in a spiral. The best leadership move on those off days might not be to press in. It might be to pause or to soften our grip or to offer yourself (or others) a little breathing room.

Recognizing Your Own State

Over time, I’ve gotten better at spotting where I am on that leadership spectrum; self-awareness is like a muscle. When I’m at my best, I feel calm and curious. Present. I listen more. I speak with intention. I can hold space for conflict or challenge without getting pulled into it. I feel optimistic, strategic, creative.

And then there are other days.

Low energy. Foggy thinking. Emotional and reactive. That sinking feeling in my chest or the tightness in my jaw. These are my cues: The body speaks. When I notice them, I know I’m not tanked up enough to lead at my best and that’s just being human.

I’ve learned that sometimes the kindest, smartest thing I can do for the team is to defer a decision. Or reschedule the conversation. Or simply step back.

Sometimes you’re just off. And sometimes that’s okay too. Sometimes it has to be something to accept and work with.

Practicing EQ in Motion

Emotional intelligence is a popular leadership buzzword. But for me, it is largely self-awareness. It can look like:

• Catching myself before I say something sharp.
• Realizing I’m getting defensive in a meeting and choosing to go quiet for a bit.
• Noticing that I’m bringing anxious energy into a 1:1 and choosing to pause or revisit an important conversation later.

It’s not perfection. It’s noticing. And acting from that awareness.

These aren’t grand leadership gestures. They’re small, everyday calibrations that keep me grounded and help keep the business more stable than it might otherwise be.

Recognizing Others in Their Low Points

It’s not just about managing your own spectrum. It’s recognizing that everyone around you is on one too.

You can often sense when someone’s off… if you’re looking for it. When someone is distracted, a bit tense, or just not quite themselves, it’s tempting to react to that moment on its own. I’ve found it’s better to consider what else might be going on and offer some compassion for someone who might just be off today.

That doesn’t mean lowering expectations indefinitely. But it does mean leading with empathy. Balancing care with accountability. And remembering that your timing, tone, and posture as a leader make a real difference.

Systems for Staying Centered

Building your awareness and managing your energy for me is about building rhythms that keep me grounded and fueled enough to handle them well.

For me, that includes a lot of the things we all know help:

• Regular sweating and moving
• Prioritizing sleep and related habits
• Meditation and other mindfulness habits
• Paying attention to what gives and takes energy
• Time in nature or relaxing
• Writing, reflection and talking

These things don’t eliminate the bad days. But they make them less frequent and less low. And they help me recover faster.

Sometimes, though, none of it works. You meditate, you journal, you breathe and you still feel off. That’s when a different practice begins: choosing not to push, not to spiral, not to pretend.

Sometimes, showing up means adjusting. Or slowing down. Or recognizing that today isn’t the day for the hard thing and being okay with that.

Riding the Highs and Lows

I’ve had bad days as a leader. Bad weeks. Maybe even bad years. You can’t just hustle your way out of those seasons. Perhaps “hustle” is how you got to “bad”. Sometimes you need to slow down, simplify, and take better care of yourself or just give yourself a bit of time before hammering the gas pedal again. In those moments it might be best to hold off on a decision until you can see things more clearly. Maybe it’s being honest with your team that you’re feeling off, so they don’t misread it. Or maybe it’s just saying, “Today’s not the day,” and giving yourself some space to reset.

Leadership doesn’t come with an off switch. But I’ve learned that doesn’t mean I should always be “on.”

That’s leadership too.

What’s this 25/25 stuff about?: 25 YEARS, 25 INSIGHTS – Reflections on Growth, Leadership and Resilience | Smart Dolphins IT Solutions Inc.